the Proverbs friend

I've recently been listening to sermons while Sis naps or while I do work around the house and she plays. It's been really edifying for my soul. Last week I listened to an older sermon by Tim Keller about friendship (Friendship, May 29, 2005.) So good. Keller references several passages from Proverbs (listed below) as well as essays from C.S. Lewis and Ralph Waldo Emerson about friendship. I wouldn't do it justice to try to summarize it, but I'll share a few thoughts that encouraged and challenged me the most. I would highly recommend downloading it. 

To start, Keller makes the point that we have many acquaintances, but true friends are rare. I think that many of us would agree on that point. He says, “You will not make it in life unless you are good at choosing, forging, and keeping terrific friendships.” We don't just stumble upon great friendships. We have to forge them. CS Lewis states in his book The Four Loves, “friendship is the least instinctive of all of the loves.” Again, we have to work at it. Keller goes on to pose the question of what is required to forge true friendship? He suggests that four things are necessary based on the passages from Proverbs: constancy, carefulness, candor, and counsel. We may experience a few of these in most relationships in our life, but rarely do we have all four. 

Two of my favorite thoughts from this message: 
"Reading about the Proverbs friend [and all that is required] fills us with a sense of longing. At the same time is crushes us as we measure ourselves in that light." 

"One of the reasons we don't have the friends that we need is because we aren't the friends that we should be." 

Wow. There are definitely times that I can feel frustration towards my friendships, usually because of unrealistic or unexpressed expectations placed on them, but I rarely measure myself to the same standards. Let me be clear, I have amazing friends and on most days I feel nothing but love and encouragement from them. I've shared a number of times what a blessing they are to me on my blog. They're sinners though and will sometimes fail me. I'm also going to fail them. That's just part of who we are. The only perfect friendship we will ever have is with Christ. 


Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 25:17,20; 26:18,19; 27:5,6,9,14,17; 28:23; 29:5