freedom

For the first time in a really long time I've been feeling a real sense of contentment in my walk with Jesus and my season in life. I've spent far too much time plagued with a nagging sense of guilt about where I stand with him based on works and time spent. It's usually not an overwhelming daily weight. More like that, "I keep forgetting something, what was that? Oh, right, now I remember! I failed again today because I didn't do...." The feeling that just hangs around. You know what I mean??

Whenever people ask me how I'm doing with the Lord (and I'm glad they do!), I never actually want to say that things are good. First, I  feel like it sounds prideful. Second, I'm afraid that acknowledging things are good will inevitably be followed up by God throwing a wrench in everything to prove a point. I hope that I don't have to point out that neither are healthy responses. It's not prideful to embrace godly contentment - it's biblical. It's also silly to think that we could somehow thwart god's plans in our lives (good or bad) by remaining silent.

The community of believers that I surround myself with have a pretty healthy view of sin. It shouldn't surprise us that we fall short on a daily basis. We are broken people in need of a savior. Sometimes, however, we fall into the trap of dwelling in our sin so much that we never move past all of our shortcomings to experience the true joy of the cross. We can't just wallow in our sinfulness. Christ's atoning work on the cross should lead us to praise and joy. We are free!!

The third reason I hesitate from acknowledging contentment is because I fear that it will lead to complacency. It always seems like a slippery slope between contentment and complacency, but I DO think that I can experience true contentment without throwing my hands up in the air and becoming complacent. I'm learning to embrace this season and where god has me. I continue to ask  him to grow me and reveal himself to me. Claiming all of those small victories is part of that. God moves and teaches me so much every day through the mundane and trivial. I just have to keep my eyes and ears open. The fact that I even worry about becoming complacent should be a huge sign that I'm in no danger of sliding down that slope! 

Galations 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." The word of god truly is living and active (Heb 4:12). I've read that verse tons of times, but today it spoke so much to me about feeling true freedom in Christ. Don't get me wrong, there is such a thing as godly guilt. But I can say with confidence that the kind I've been experiencing falls much more under the "yoke of slavery" category.