A while back I was crocheting something. I wasn't sure about a color combination and I asked The Rev what he thought. He gave me his opinion and after a minutia of hesitation I decided to go with the opposite of what he said. You see, my mind was already made up when I asked him. This is kind of a silly example, but I'm realizing that it's something I do more than I'd like to admit.
I ask for advice, but I don't really want it. I already have an answer in my head. I usually just want to be affirmed in the decision that I've already made. I do it a LOT with questions about parenting. If you have a similar opinion, I feel good about myself. If you disagree, I'll just disregard what you had to say and do what I want. It's just another way that pride reveals itself in my life. I like to think I'm teachable. The reality is that I'm teachable on my own terms and my own schedule. I'm very slow to change. It's hard for me to shift gears and change my way of thinking.
Here's another thing I've noticed about myself - I interrupt people all the time. I used to think I was a pretty good listener. Not so much anymore. When people are talking to me I often interject with my own thoughts and experiences. [Oh hello, Pride, it's been about 5 seconds since I last saw you] Being a good listener requires humility. Intentionally refraining from interrupting acknowledges that others might have something more important than you to say. When I constantly interrupt people, I'm essentially saying that what I have to talk about is more important. Or I think that I have some great wisdom to impart to them that simply can't wait. A good deal of the time, people don't want answers, they simply want to be heard. If people want advice, they will generally ask for it. Don't assume they want you to fix them. If you're not sure what they want - ask!
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