to the mom of two

Around the time this pic was taken, a friend of mine was pregnant with her 5th (under age 8). This was also around the time that the wheels really started coming off at our house. I felt totally unhinged. As I watched my friend, she seemed to have it all together. It seemed almost effortless. I had always thought I wanted four or more kids, but at this point I was SURE that I wasn't cut out for it. 

Now, I find myself in the odd position of having moms look at me and wonder how I do it. First, I fumble through and do it one hour at a time just like the rest of you. Second, (and you probably won't believe me because I sure didn't when I was there )- having two kids was the hardest it ever was. Like, for real. If you're a mom of two (especially if they're under 2), you're in THE hardest season of mothering people under age six (where my experience stops). It was the season that I most compared myself to other moms. It was the most tired I ever was. It was the most unsure I ever was. I remember getting really down on myself as I watched anyone that had more kids than me thinking,"well, they can do it with so much more on their plate. Why can't I pull it together??" 

It has become a little cliche, but it is SO true that it does get easier. Having semi-self sufficient children in the house as helpers is a game changer. And there are things that no amount of book reading can teach you. They're good resources, but you can't live and die by them. You just have to live through it. One hour at a time. And lean on others who have been there and try to listen and learn and believe. Don't minimize the struggle. Press on.