the meditations of my heart

I enjoyed some extended quiet time TWO days in a row yesterday while the kids napped and this morning while The Rev encouraged me to go out to read while he played with them. Yesterday I came across this verse in Psalms that just really stuck out to me. I moved on to another book and then had to come back to think about it some more because I just couldn't get it out of my head. I think it was truly God working on my heart to bring some needed clarity and conviction. 

First, I don't always think that the words of my mouth are pleasing to the Lord. This is mostly when I lose my patience with my kids - which is a lot. It's more the tone I take with them than the actual words, but sometimes my words are harsh too as I hurry them and scold them for doing things that normal 1 and 2 years olds do. One of the things I pray most for is patience, and I'm going to continue to do so. 

The second (and more convicting thing) was the "meditations of my heart" part. It brought to mind something that The Rev said in a sermon a while back. He said that if you want to know what your idols are and where your devotion lies, ask yourself, "what do I think about when I can think about anything? Where does my mind wander?"

Lately for me - and this may sound ridiculous (because it is) - it's boots. The amount of time that I've spent online or in stores looking for the perfect pair of boots is shameful. I've been scheming up a way that I can afford the perfect pair that cost over $300. When I'm at the park or the grocery store or even at church (gasp!), I'm checking out people's boots!! That's where my mind wanders. Seriously?! Seriously. How embarrassing. As I came to this revelation a verse from Colossions came to mind - and kicked me in the butt again.

you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Col 3:1-2)

 So there it is. Some painful self discovery. I love Pinterest, but I feel like it's definitely fueled a lot of these thoughts. I see all of those pretty things and fun ideas and delicious recipes to try and they consume my thoughts. I'm lead to covetousness and materialism. My mind is so crammed full of "great ideas" and cute clothes that it can't wander to things above. So, I'm going to drastically be limiting my pinning for the time being, in hopes that Jesus will be made much of in the meditations of my heart.